Sweet Girl

Our dolly pushing her Dolly!

Endings

We were on the cusp of the end of our journey to China.  My husband appropriately decided we should celebrate.  We had received what we came for, a beautiful china doll.  We had spent our first day outside of adopting business sightseeing and having blissful fun as a family.  We would be flying home the very next day and Brian decided we should have a traditional Chinese meal to celebrate.

We sat in a lovely restaurant ordered our food and got out the crayons.  Strange how life changes with a 2-year old in tow.  I asked the children what were their favorite memories of China that they would take home to family and friends.  Unanimously, it was Gotcha day, the day they finally met their much prayed for sister, but then we moved on.  From city to city in which we traveled they recounted marvelous stories, marvelous memories.

I had a sense of how profoundly good it is for children to travel.  Difficult it was, expensive, sometimes hard, but at this very moment I was tasting the goodness of it, before the food even came!

The waiter served us delicious Chinese tea to begin our meal and Brian proposed a toast.  He said something so simple, yet so profound, my mind traveled to a place I didn’t expect to go.  I was going home tomorrow I reminded myself, yet his words indicated our journey had not ended.

He said, “to the beginning of the end.”  And all the children clinked their teacups.

The “beginning of the end” I pondered.  Somewhere in every woman there is a little girl that loves and lives for happy endings.  This was my happy ending.  God had met us in China over and over again.  He met us with safe travels.  He met us with wonderful Christian families with whom we would share the journey.  He met us with wonderful, informative, caring guides. He met us with people seeking Him and with whom we could share the Gospel.  And He met us in the heart and face of a little girl.  She showed us unconditional love knowing nothing about who we were or where we lived or what language we spoke, just with love.  Much like Him.

I had looked at this as my “happy ending”.  My happy ending to three years of prayer and two years of paper work.  Oh, I realized work remained.  One does not invite a 2-year old into your home without knowing there would be chores, late nights and early mornings ahead.  But He had reassured me over and over and yet over again that He was right there.  His hand upon us, His light at our feet, and His angels at our back.  I could do this with the Spirit with which He strengthens all His children.  So why then, did my beloved Brian say it was a beginning?  Did God have another dream perched on the windowsill I wondered?  Was He calling us to more work with orphan care? My mind reeled and verged on being overwhelmed.

I went to bed praying.  Praying for safety for the flight home.  Praying for a calm baby for the long flight home.  And I prayed that God would reveal to me what the next part of our journey looked at and that this time perhaps I wouldn’t greet it with fear and trembling like that had overtaken me so often on this path to China.

The trip to the airport was uneventful.  The storm that had greeted us as we woke was already passing.  The lines for security and baggage were long but we would be on time, all was well. The baby fussed as we sat waiting on the runway but soon sleep greeted her.  Every prayer, every worry answered.  My God is incredibly faithful and I continued to pray as we took off and through out the flight. Finally we landed; we again forged through line after line.  I rejoiced it was our last flight.  My dad would finally kiss his new grand girl and his long awaited pack of three grandchildren.  We saw loving faces in friends and happily drove in familiar cars and saw familiar sites.

Then we saw it, our home.  I gently spoke to Ava.  This is our final stop I told her, no more hotels, or luggage, or paperwork.  I could not wait to see her in her little room.  Balloons and a welcome home sign greeted us.  Happy faces beamed just inside our door.  Ava surprised me.  The scared little girl I had met just 13 days before hit the ground running.  She saw toys and new friends that seemed like old acquaintances.  Soon she was laughing, smiling and walking across the floors I had cleaned just for this day.

I sat down.  The little two-year-old that had rested on my lap every day for almost two weeks now strolled about my house somehow knowing it was hers.  Contentment that I had seen that very first day returned to her with a glow that only the Holy Spirit could gift her with.

I ate a bite of the lovely supper dear friends had brought and in the quietness of the moment, the Lord spoke.  “This is how I will feel when you come home.”  I looked at Ava again wondering if jet lag had already taken over.
I had not expected the serenity of that moment.  I had been so tired, so weary from travel, and suddenly I had the joy and energy only the Father could rain down.  For the moment, I looked at my new daughter and sensed some small portion of what the Father must feel when we return to Him.  When we submit to Him and when we stand in the center of His will.  When He sees His children go home to glory and He can see them sit at His table and be reunited with Him.

The ending was indeed the beginning.  He has equipped us all with our experience, our faith, our trust and His word to endings that become beginnings.  Beginnings of the next phase of life, the next chapter of the book, the resolve to go about serving Him no matter the cost, or no matter the doubts or the fears.  He has built with us the striving towards the finally happy ending.  The one where we see His face and our worship of Him becomes our eternal passion.

He is there waiting.  Filling our hearts and minds with dreams, with visions of His will and sustaining us for the next beginning and the next ending, be it happy or not.  Persevere Beloved; He is worth every trial and tear.  He is worth every moment of fear and frustration.  His peace sustains us and His glory awaits us.




“…I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Phil. 3:12-14

Home again home again jiggety jig.

The flight was longish, with an extra hour on the tarmac but the kids did superbly well.

 

2 little crying spells for miss ava but also lots of blissful sleep.  Thank you Jesus.

 

It was sheer delight to see daddy and all the friends that stopped in last night. The home cooked meal was a tasty blessing! It was sheer joy to see Ava walk around her new home and see her smile and laugh as her siblings got her imitating all the funny stuff they do.

 

She warmed up to company quickly and loved having kids to play with even for just a short time last night.

 

The old bed felt great, especially with 4 children saying our now I lay me last night.

 

God is incredibly good.  We are so so so grateful, humbled and blessed.

To Him to all glory for this journey and this child.

Amen.

Ava & BaBa

As I sit down, waiting for our vans to take southward out of Guangzhou... out of mainland China, I find myself with mixed emotions.   A part of me is so excited about getting back to Geneva and back into the routine of the Hill Household.   A part of me longs to linger here to spend time with our family in the protective cocoon of being away.   We've learned so much about the Chinese Culture since our arrival a couple of weeks a go; however, a lifetime is needed to really absorb it all.   I hope to share with you or anyone who wants to know about our adoption journey in the near future.

I remember Ava's gotcha day as it is embedded in my memory forever, just like Lily's... and just like the delivery of my boys.   A  Dad's perspective is unique as we see and experience things differently than Mother's do.   Ava walked in the room with a piece of bread in one hand and she was placed in Cathy's arms.  Though she was crying when she first arrived.. she soon hushed as she realized she was finally in her Mommy's arms.    We all cried, it was a joyful time.   My eyes well up with tears now as I write these words.

Over the past days, I've gotten to know Ava in a different way than Cathy.   My Ava Joy has learned to trust me, to know that I am her Father, her BaBa.. her daddy.  Though I've not gotten to hold her for more than a few moments, she lets me rub her feet and will lean over and kiss me on the cheek.  Cathy kept reminding me she would one day lay in my arms, sit on my lap and hold me.     This moment happened yesterday as I was sitting the floor of our room, leaning back on the edge of the bed.  Ava came to me, speaking to me in some Chinese Baby Dialect.   I looked over at her and smiled....  she continued babbling at me, then literally pushed me over on the floor and climbed up on me to play.  We had a precious time bonding and rough-housing that Dad's know how to do.  

This morning we went to a park and Ava had a grand time... we all did actually!   We're off to Hong Kong for a couple of days, then we'll be back home soon.

I can't wait to show off the latest Hill Girl... like the others.. she's absolutely amazing! It melts my heart when I hear her little voice call me...

BaBa

Good byes

Today we visited the US Consulate in Guangzhou.  We sat with our group of three other families as well as a few other families adopting their little Chinese treasures.  There was a little play area.  What an amazing thing to see these children play - siblings, friends and lifelong relationships. 

Due to Consulate rules, we could not have cameras, but picture in your mind the Sunday school song, “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight”, and you will get the idea.  Brian and I as well as the other parents were asked to repeat an oath regarding bringing a Chinese citizen to the US as an immigrant.  I didn’t say one word, nor can I remember even one syllable.  The emotions took over that the work the Father began in our hearts some 3 years ago is coming to completion.  He is Faithful to Finish that which He starts.

We returned to the hotel for group pictures. How I will miss this group. The bond we share is lifelong.  There is nothing like seeing 3 families add their fourth child and one young couple becomes parents.  I will never forget the memories of our gotcha day nor the days prior and since.

Ava cried throughout the photo session.  She banged her head just before but I mused to myself I was ready to cry just as hard.  I treasure our memories and fondly look forward to seeing her become accustomed to her new home, her church, her soon to be nursery and Sunday school friends.  What blessings lay in store as we shepherd her to a saving knowledge of the Savior.

Grandpa asked me this morning how soon she will be coming to HOBI. I dreamt of her in my office, giggling through each room, under my desk and the conference table.  Those dreams will soon come true.  What a blessing to watch her grow.

Her siblings do not give her a moment’s rest.  They have learned how to make her mimic them.  They have learned how to make her roar with laughter, and she has learned to trust them. 

I am still the feeder, carrier and diaper changer, but she smiles when she sees her daddy.  She adores his lotion baths and she will soon think he’s the best thing in the world;  as she should.

We will be headed off shortly to see the pandas here in Guangzhou, and back to the Consulate tomorrow for Ava’s visa. We received her x-rays today and the consulate advised us how to proceed on the US side with immigration.

God has gone before us, in front of us and beside us.

Your prayers have sustained us.

Amen.

Scary, Strange and Stunning

Scary, Strange and Stunning ...

That about encapsulates our Wednesday. We began early with our group headed back to the clinic to read the babies’ TB tests.Our guide is stellar here. Marched us right in, through an amazingly big crowd and in to the office where all 4 babies in our group were to display their red arms. We were 4th in line, and in seconds we were up. I knew there was an issue when the nurse started marking and measuring. It’s interesting as during the adoption process one lives and dies by paperwork, but here, like labor, those memories have quickly slipped away. I have felt "done". I realized we had lots more to do, passports, visas, etc. but this was a nonevent for me, until we were on our way to chest x-rays.

I didn’t ask at all what if as I knew the Lord had brought us this far, and He would remain faithful to bringing Ava home. I just didn’t anticipate stripping my little girl and holding her down for chest x-rays. Nor did I anticipate the angst of waiting on results.
In minutes, we had clear film. Praise the Lord. This means we will travel with the x-rays for immigration. We visit the consulate this morning and tomorrow we will have little Miss Ava’s visa. I am confident she will never know this process and in many ways I am glad for that. Like Lily she came to us in a profoundly different, intentional way and my love for her is fiercely strong. Like the grinch, my heart grew 4-fold, last Monday, April 16.
She too is spreading her wings to love her siblings and her daddy. She is a really really funny girl and is finding her home in the laughter and joy of her family. What a joy to my heart.

After x-rays, our little group did some shopping and had lunch. Our guide stayed with us as the rest of the group taxied back to the hotel. She showed us Pedestrian Street, a walking/ shopping street and then the Chin Ping market. It was literally a street staged pet shop. We saw turtles and fish, one puppy and lots of kitties. Some for sale, some trying to eat the fish. Most were in dishpans and organized by breed and price. It was fascinating. The kids marveled at all the different animals. Of course we had a dozen discussions about what might fit in our suitcase but we convinced the kids our menagerie is quite full at home.

Last night was the finale of sorts with our group. We had dinner on the Pearl River and the views were just stunning. My girls watched from the window at the changing lights and lovely venues. China continues to amaze me with its beauty and its people.We are so privileged to have learned about this culture and pray we will continue to cherish those memories in our hearts for Ava. She received wonderful care. You can see the love for children in the grandparents that stroll by and speak with her in Chinese.

She has a smile and a little fisted wave for each one. She blossoms every day, smiling more and laughing lots more. What a gift she is. What a gift adoption is. I cannot imagine my life without her and I cannot imagine life without a heavenly Father that adopts us into His family.